Once upon a time, I was semi happy with the way I looked- the way pictures turned out, the way clothes felt, the way others saw me. That was all okay. Now, it's a whole other story. Let's begin...
once a chubster, always a chubster. Fat babies make the cutest ones though! ;)
I never EVER had any problems with being chubby when I was younger. I was full of energy and always running around outside. I was too active to even be bothered.
I started playing lacrosse for the school team in 7th grade. I'm in here somewhere.
As much as I complained...I loved being apart of a team. Playing lacrosse consumed a good part of my life during the months of January, February, March, April, May and June. However, I was in the best shape and I had amazing time management skills. (This photo is actually from 10th grade but I wanted to group it with the lacrosse ones).
PS. can you find me? 3rd in from the right, first row!
This was in 8th grade at Hershey Park with my friend Molly. There was a summer where were obsessed with amusement parks. I still kinda am. Anyway, at this point, I knew I was "bigger" than most of my other friends but I was still young.
Last day of school 9th grade- yes, those are hipbones, believe it or not!! I drool over pictures of my stomach from high school. So depressing...
This was in Boca Raton, FL on a trip in 10th grade with my friends. It was probably one of the best vacations ever. Again, abs. Legs have ALWAYS been a problem area for me, as you can tell in this photo.
My junior year prom was so much fun. I think most of the reason it was so fun was because I loved the way I looked. Fabulous hair, makeup & dress (BCBG, favorite!) and I was still fairly in shape!
This was in Sea Isle City, NJ. My family and I (above-the girls) always used to go down the shore for a week in the summer. I loved it. We haven't these past few summers what with all of the weddings and other events going on. I miss it :( Anyway, this is a totally unflattering photo from this vacay but this, I think, was the beginning of my trip to hell. Yuck.
This was on my senior trip in Florida. Another awesome vacation. Disgusted.
This is Tom and I at XTU the summer before going away to college. I don't look so fat here. I actually like the way my arms look. Regardless, I'm so lucky to have Tom as my boyfriend. He knows how unhappy I am and as much as I hate to admit it to him, (you know the rule, confidence is the sexiest thing about a woman blah blah blah) it's definitely doing something to our relationship. He ensures me that he loves me no matter what and thinks that I'm beautiful always :)
SENIOR WEEK!!!! Arguably the best week of my entire life. If you could possibly ignore the extreme skankiness of this photo (we had a "white trash" theme night, this is not normal, promise!), you could see how happy I looked mainly because I looked good that whole week. I don't know how or why. I was tan, glowing, my hair was cooperating all week, hardly had to wear face makeup...it was just awesome. Anyway, I would never, ever, in a million years, think to put that on my body looking how I look at this moment. EVER.
This was at my cousin, Valerie's, BEAUTIFUL wedding in August 2008. It was such a great time and I loved every minute of being a bridesmaid :D Pictured above is me, my cousin-in-law Nicola, the bride, my cousin Marissa, and my sister Noelle. I am obviously the biggest. Boo Hoo.
absofreakinglutely disgusting. My sister, Noelle lost like 20 pounds just by eating healthier and WALKING while I gained like 20 pounds just by eating and sitting on my butt. This picture is gross because in our defense, we had no time to get ready for this wedding. Except I know I'd look a lot better if I were 20 pounds thinner!
This was my first night back at school my sophomore year. I don't HATE the way I look, but I can definitely say I wouldn't put that dress back on. I don't know why I don't have any pictures from freshman year. But, it doesn't matter because I just got fat anyway :)
And this was me a few weeks ago. I actually like this picture but that's probably because Aubree set the contrast high, haha.
OKAY, I'm done with the pictures for now!
The point is, I need to lose weight. No question about it. There should be NO reason why I can't have my body back. My theory is that I should only get better :)
It is NOT cool that I don't even want to buy clothes anymore because I don't like how I look in them. I want to wear jeans and a tight tank top without worrying about my love handles spilling over. I want to be able to feel completely COMFORTABLE. That's the main thing.
Bed time. More later.